i Still Love Dogs
Grrr

7 Examples That Prove Trump Is Clueless About Dogs

Laura Goldman
Dog sticking out her tongue

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Donald Trump has reportedly never had any pet, and he’s apparently never had any clue whatsoever about dogs and their behavior. Here’s the proof: Examples of how he’s used the analogy “like a dog” in very strange ways over the years, plus a couple of bonus examples that illustrate his cluelessness.

Hey, you know who else also used the “like a dog” analogy? The Nazi officers at Auschwitz, according to the memoir “Night” by survivor Elie Weisel. For example, guards warned the prisoners that they would be shot “like dogs.” Coincidence?

1. Dogs don’t cheat.

Trump told his supporters at a July rally to make sure their ballots count because “they cheat like dogs.”

Not sure exactly what he meant by this. Maybe he thinks those poker-playing dogs are for real—and are card sharks!

dogs playing poker

And back in 2012, Trump tweeted that Kristen Stewart cheated on Robert Pattison “like a dog.”

It is true that dogs, like some presidential candidates, are not necessarily monogamous. However, unlike some presidential candidates, they probably never go out and have sex with porn stars while their wives are home with the baby.

2. …and dogs don’t lie, either.

Well, sure, dogs definitely like to lie around, but that’s not what Trump meant in 2016 when he tweeted that Ted Cruz “lifts the Bible high into the air and then lies like a dog—over and over again!”

I’ve had many dogs, and not one of them has spoken any untruths, unlike certain presidential candidates.

3. ‘Choked like a dog’—really?!

After his debate with Joe Biden earlier this year, Trump wrote on Truth Social that Biden “choked like a dog.”

What on earth did he mean by this disturbing accusation? “Like a dog”…choking on, say, a chicken bone—or a dog actually being choked? Let’s hope it’s the latter, especially since one of the best things Trump did while in office was signing a bill that made animal cruelty a federal felony.

But either way, to say someone “choked like a dog” just ain’t right.

4. Most dogs don’t get fired.

Trump has often noted that many have been “fired like a dog,” but how many dogs have employers that have given them their walking papers?

The only examples I can think of are maybe police dogs who refuse to bite or search-and-rescue dogs with lousy senses of smell.

5. …or kicked out of debates.

In 2016, Trump tweeted that a union leader was “kicked out of the ABC News debate like a dog.”

While dogs do bark at each other, I don’t know of any debate on ABC News or elsewhere that featured dogs voicing their opinions. But I sure would watch it!

6. Dogs beg for treats, not money.

Also in 2016, Trump tweeted that National Review editor Brent Bozell came to his office “begging for money like a dog.”

Even if a dog did beg for money, what could they possibly do with it? Run away to Petco and buy a box or four of Milk-Bones? Nah, dogs want munchies—not moolah.

Bonus: ‘Pit Bulls Fighting’ is a breedist stereotype

Trump doesn’t hide the fact that he’s racist, so it’s not much of a surprise that he’s “breedist” as well. At a September rally, he said the three MAGA Georgia Election Board members who still deny the results of the 2020 presidential election—and met in July to controversially change the rules for Georgia voters in the 2024 election—are “pit bulls fighting for victory.”

It’s partly because of uninformed people perpetuating negative stereotypes like this that Pit Bulls have been banned in some areas due to breed-specific legislation (BSL), laws that unfairly single out certain dog breeds. For 31 years in Denver, these dogs were taken from their loving homes and killed, just because of the breed they happened to be.

Fortunately, as more people realize they need to blame the deed, not the breed, BSL and breed bans are thankfully becoming a thing of the past.

Here’s a much more apt analogy: The board members are “January 6th insurrectionists fighting for victory.” Fixed it!

Bonus: Dogs (and cats and geese) aren’t being eaten in Springfield, Ohio.

Among the lowlights of the Trump/Harris debate in September was Trump exclaiming, “They’re eating dogs! They’re eating the cats! They’re eating the pets of the people who live here!”

This was in regard to debunked reports that Haitian immigrants were stealing and dining on people’s pets. Trump is still insisting this is true. It isn’t.

These strange analogies make it clear that Trump has very little understanding about man’s best friend—and as he’s demonstrated over and over again, very little understanding about much of anything else.

While Trump’s misunderstanding of dogs is not that big of a deal compared to all the other truly disturbing things he’s said and has promised to do if he wins, i Still Love Dogs—and i Still Love Democracy, which is why he won’t be getting my vote. Another reason: Unlike what his running mate J.D. Vance said, childless cat ladies (not to mention dog ladies) totally rule!!

Photos: The top photo is my late, great Ella, expressing how she felt about the subject of this story; “Dogs Playing Poker” by Christopher, CC BY-NC-ND 2.0 via Flickr

Laura Goldman

I am a freelance writer and lifelong dog lover. For five years, I was a staff writer for i Love Dogs. When that site shut down, I started this blog...because I STILL Love Dogs!