Pet Owners Use Poop to Prank ‘Porch Pirates’

Here come the holidays, which means front porches are filled with packages delivered by UPS, FedEx and Amazon. These packages are prime targets for thieves known as “porch pirates.”

Some pet owners are keeping these thieves away by filling Amazon and other boxes with dog poop, and then placing them on their porches.

Leaving Las Vegas…with a Box of Dog Poop

As Eric Bardo of Las Vegas was picking up after his big dog last year, he got the idea to put the poop in a Priority Mail box and leave it on his porch. Four days later, a young thief took the B.M. bait. Surveillance cameras captured videos of a boy snatching the poop package and then running down the street with an accomplice.

Bardo decided not to report the crime to police. “I didn’t want to call them and say somebody stole a box of poop off my front porch,” he told KTNV.

Apparently Bardo was a turd trendsetter. This year another Vegas resident, Eric Snow, did the same thing after packages were being stolen in his neighborhood.

He filled a box with what he called “reprocessed dog chow” from his 95-pound German shepherd, Heidi, and put it on his front porch. A security camera showed two men pulling up in a green car and snatching the nasty package.

Great Surprise from a Great Dane

Earlier this month in Riverside, Calif., Mikey Zaremba filled a box with poop collected during his Great Dane’s birthday party with several other dogs. Just like those Vegas dog dads, he left it on his front porch.

As you can imagine, Daniel Aldama, the thief who stole the package, got a really big surprise.

“He dropped it as soon as he found out,” Ronel Newton of the Riverside Police Department told CBS Los Angeles. “He didn’t want nothing to do with it and kept on riding.” Aldama was arrested and is facing charges.

Tips for Avoiding Porch Pirates

If leaving your pet’s poop in a box on your porch doesn’t appeal to you, here are some other steps you can take to avoid having your packages stolen.

  • For FedEx deliveries, you can request a signature, schedule a delivery or have the package sent elsewhere, such as to your office or to a family member or neighbor who’s home during the day.
  • You can have items ordered from Amazon delivered to an Amazon Locker. These self-service delivery locations are available in hundreds of places across the country. You’ll get an email when your package has been delivered and will have three business days to pick it up. (Another cool tip: You can also use Amazon Locker to return items purchased on Amazon.)

Photo via YouTube

This story was originally published in December 2016.

This Porch Pirate Was a Pooch

‘Tis the season…for so-called porch pirates, unfortunately. These thieves come out from under their rocks at this time each year to steal packages that don’t belong to them.

To deter porch pirates, some savvy pet owners have filled empty Amazon cartons with dog poop. And thanks to doorbells with video cameras, many porch pirates are getting caught in the act — including a thief in Oklahoma named Max.

When a present sent from her sister in California went missing from her Shady Point porch, Debbie Goines checked the video footage from her doorbell camera. Sure enough, she spotted the porch pirate. But in this case, the thief was what Goines called a “pooch pirate.”

It was her neighbor’s Great Pyrenees, Max. The big ol’ fluffy dog casually walked onto her porch, sniffed the package (which happened to contain jerky snacks and other foods), picked it up with his mouth and then wandered back home with it.

When Goines’ asked her neighbor about the package, its remains were found in the neighbor’s yard: the torn-apart carton and an unopened bottle of olive oil.

“I assume Max just ate what he wanted and buried the rest,” Goines said, according to a KABC report.

“He just smelled the jerky and said, ‘This has been delivered to the wrong house!'” Goines said, which sounds rerasonable.

Max’s owner offered to pay for the lost goods, but Goines refused. Apparently no charges were filed against the pooch pirate, but according to the news report, Max is currently in “doggie detention.”

Is it a coincidence that the Grinch’s dog was also named Max? Perhaps not. Speaking of the Grinch, last week a therapy dog for the Franklin Police Department in Massachusetts was caught red-pawed stealing toys from a donation bin at the police station. The toys were supposed to be given to children in need, not needy Golden Retrievers.

Like Max, this four-legged thief, whose name is Ben Franklin, will not be charged with any crime.

“We learned an extremely valuable lesson today,” the Franklin Police Department wrote on its Facebook page Dec. 18. “When you have a classroom full of toys ready to be shipped off to the Santa Foundation, you should…

1. Close the door to the classroom

Or

2. Keep the toys elevated.”

Photo: Good Morning America/YouTube

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