5 Oscar-Nominated Films That Should Have Starred Dogs

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There’s been a lot of well-deserved controversy over the lack of diversity in this year’s Oscar nominees. Women and people of color are glaringly absent from the ballot — which may or may not have something to do with the fact that 94 percent of academy members are white and 77 percent are male.

Also missing are any non-human nominees. Okay, they’re missing every year. But just imagine if some of the 2015 Best Picture nominees had starred dogs instead…

‘Amstaff Sniper’

american staffordshire terrier puppy

An American Staffordshire Terrier named Smoochie becomes one of the most skilled “snipers” in Denver. He sneaks up on breed-ban supporters and kisses them, efficiently killing their hatred of “Pit Bull type dogs.” Spoiler Alert: Thanks to Smoochie, Denver’s Pit Bull ban is lifted, as are all others around the world.

‘Birddog’

keeshond

Has-been Rover Thomson (portrayed by Best Actor nominee Michael Keeshond) once played the superhero Birddog in a series of popular films. He tries to get back in the limelight by putting on a dog show in Central Park.

‘Boykinhood’

boykin spaniel

During a 12-year span, a Boykin Spaniel experiences the joys of puppyhood, middle age and being a senior dog.

‘The Grand Bouvier des Flandres Hotel’

bouvier des flandres

The whimsical tale of Monsieur Gooddog (left), iron-pawed concierge of a five-star hotel for dogs in the Republic of Shihtzubrowka. Gooddog loves the older bitches (quite literally).

‘Whippetlash’

whippet

A young Whippet wants to become a great agility dog. He works with an intimidating trainer who humiliates him by repeatedly jabbing his neck and yelling, “TSCH!”

Photo credits: K. Kendall, Bill Jacobus, jetsonphoto, CaronnaMatt Brown